the weird feeling inside my stomach

oh yeah, this is my first blog!

Last night i got something crazy. Wed, 17th, a letter from ywam perth is at the

desk of my living room, my heartbeat beats faster when i saw that letter, i dont know why..and after that my father saw that letter and ask "whats that?", and im thinking "is it the time to tell my dad about it?". and i said to my dad its a school, and after that my daddy just go without reaction. and i just sit the living room reading the letter and asking god about what should i do, there's a verse that letter said "to obey is better than sacrifice", and after that i feel God told me to stay at the living room.

a few minutes my dad back to the living room, and i start to talk, i said "its a school, for 6 months.." i just wanna start to explain it but suddenly God told me to shut up and go to my room and fill that personal questioner that the ywam perth gave to me..

okay, i just wanna obey his words. and suddenly i read a words in the magazine that they gave me said "You're blessed because you believe what He said". i start crying when i read that words. God is really awesome!! even tough there's still no reaction from my dad, but i believe that God is speaking to him, putting something weird in his heart when he saw that letter. haha.

and the next morning i was chatting with my friend, we are sharing about whats been happening in our life lately. and you know what?? he said that he wants to support me in finance when i go in the mission field! o my god. its crazy.. God is really teaching me step by step to just obey him, fix my eyes on him, and lay down my life before him..

this last couple of days was so crazy. i dont know why there's a super weird feelings inside my stomach. i feel like Im gonna face a new phase of my life soon. its crazy, exciting, scaring, lovesick, all mixed up together..aaaaaa

and this last 2 days God is been revealing to me about an awkward thing called marriage! what the heck. He's revealing me about the bride and the bridegroom. can you imagine if there are 2 bride of Christ being as one! with one heart, one vision, one passion! each of them know that to love is to die for ourself.. its gonna be super awesome! but i just feel weird, why God reveal that kinda things to me these time? mann im still 21.

i have a random thought about having a missionary, dancer, and a brown skin future wive..hahaa. kinda weird, huh?

its all seem like too gila-gilaan to be true. but yea, its true. its a reality! this is what life is. to have an adventure with the heavenly bridegroom as we die more for ourself each day..