Trying To Runaway

When you’re alone in the darkness
spotlight cant fill the emptiness
When you hide inside your room,
hearing your daddy’s footsteps
When you wanna be in someone else’s life
Using a mask to cover the hurts
When you’re trying to runaway
But chains are too strong,
cant be broken..

When nobody understands you
People around you just full of fakes
When you’re asking why you should have this
And others not
When insecurity haunting you
Longing to get over it but you can’t
When you’re pointing out other’s weaknesses
To make you feel better

There’s someone, be there for you
Binding the wound that hurts in your heart
There’s someone, fills the emptiness
Break the bonds and set you free
There’s someone cares for you
Loving you because of who you are
There’s someone, you can hold on to
No matter the circumstances

When you don’t know whats your life for
Living in the world you hate
When everything is fading away
nothing you can hold on to
When you wanna be in someone else’s life
Using a mask to cover the hurts
When you’re trying to runaway
But chains are too strong,
cant be broken..

You’re precious
You’re beautiful
You’re loved
You’re made to shine..
I see what anyone cant see in you.
Come to me who are weary and burdened, I’ll give you a rest..

a paul’s gangsta statement

yow yoww. back again! whoaa, its now december! it means, christmas is coming to town baby! Have yourself a merry little christmas, may your heart be light, from now on your troubles will be out of sightt *singing. hahaa. Oh how i love christmas. cihayyy!

since i met jesus, my christmas is being different, how now its not just a month with party, christmas songs, trees, and those christmas feelings, but an evaluation time where i can look through my self from the last year to this year. seeing how i got more handsome from year to year*hahaha. how i see my life being changed from year to year. hans antonio in christmas 2008 will be so different compared to hans antonio in christmas 2007.

so many things been happening this year, good stuffs, bad stuffs. but i learned so much through that. i learned about god’s love for me and others, i learned how to value people just as they are, love them because of who they are, not because of their coolness, position, the way they look, learned to love people just like god loves them, and others stuffs as well that will take a lifetime to write it down here.

i can see now how my life change a lot since i have jesus as the full owner of my life. HE’s MY SUPER BIG BOSS now! haha.

one day in college, im learning about those maslow’s pyramid of human needs, how human need physical needs, safety needs, social needs, self-esteem, self actualization. and at that time i felt like god said to me “hans, look at those pyramid of needs, you’ve got it all from me..”

damn yeah! it was so true. i care nothing bout those crap, how people see me, how i look cool in front of people, how i get high status in society, how im being accepted by people, i already got everything that i need from jesus! he fulfills my life, he accepts me just as i am, i dont need to be fake in front of him, he values me just as i am, he loves me, he cares about me, he encourages me, he is so real to me, and yet he gives me all that i need, money, foods, real true friends, and others. its a complete packet!

theres a paul’s gangsta statement in phillipians 3 that keep stirring in my heart..

“but whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, i consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. i consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ”

sick, huh? considering everything is a loss for a jewish rockin man-he is a son of god though, that died and rose again for me called Jesus. but yea, when i know him more and more, its all being a crap.. he’s just everything that i need!

happy holidays!