Friday, June 5, 2009

theres a love that keeps me goin

just because im

doesn't mean im

doesn't mean ill

doesn't mean ill

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

the getaway

yo, back here again..after having a super beautiful refreshing christmas and new year holiday. such a mint. haha. taste that some right here..


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that was some of the pics that blog-uploadable, for more you can check out my facebook profile soon..

friends, you are wonderful part of my life. thanks for the love guys! for others who is not in the picture, you know who you are. i love you more! hahaa.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Trying To Runaway

When you’re alone in the darkness
spotlight cant fill the emptiness
When you hide inside your room,
hearing your daddy’s footsteps
When you wanna be in someone else’s life
Using a mask to cover the hurts
When you’re trying to runaway
But chains are too strong,
cant be broken..

When nobody understands you
People around you just full of fakes
When you’re asking why you should have this
And others not
When insecurity haunting you
Longing to get over it but you can’t
When you’re pointing out other’s weaknesses
To make you feel better

There’s someone, be there for you
Binding the wound that hurts in your heart
There’s someone, fills the emptiness
Break the bonds and set you free
There’s someone cares for you
Loving you because of who you are
There’s someone, you can hold on to
No matter the circumstances

When you don’t know whats your life for
Living in the world you hate
When everything is fading away
nothing you can hold on to
When you wanna be in someone else’s life
Using a mask to cover the hurts
When you’re trying to runaway
But chains are too strong,
cant be broken..

You’re precious
You’re beautiful
You’re loved
You’re made to shine..
I see what anyone cant see in you.
Come to me who are weary and burdened, I’ll give you
a rest..

Monday, December 8, 2008

a paul’s gangsta statement

yow yoww. back again! whoaa, its now december! it means, christmas is coming to town baby! Have yourself a merry little christmas, may your heart be light, from now on your troubles will be out of sightt *singing. hahaa. Oh how i love christmas. cihayyy!

since i met jesus, my christmas is being different, how now its not just a month with party, christmas songs, trees, and those christmas feelings, but an evaluation time where i can look through my self from the last year to this year. seeing how i got more handsome from year to year*hahaha. how i see my life being changed from year to year. hans antonio in christmas 2008 will be so different compared to hans antonio in christmas 2007.

so many things been happening this year, good stuffs, bad stuffs. but i learned so much through that. i learned about god’s love for me and others, i learned how to value people just as they are, love them because of who they are, not because of their coolness, position, the way they look, learned to love people just like god loves them, and others stuffs as well that will take a lifetime to write it down here.

i can see now how my life change a lot since i have jesus as the full owner of my life. HE’s MY SUPER BIG BOSS now! haha.

one day in college, im learning about those maslow’s pyramid of human needs, how human need physical needs, safety needs, social needs, self-esteem, self actualization. and at that time i felt like god said to me “hans, look at those pyramid of needs, you’ve got it all from me..”

damn yeah! it was so true. i care nothing bout those crap, how people see me, how i look cool in front of people, how i get high status in society, how im being accepted by people, i already got everything that i need from jesus! he fulfills my life, he accepts me just as i am, i dont need to be fake in front of him, he values me just as i am, he loves me, he cares about me, he encourages me, he is so real to me, and yet he gives me all that i need, money, foods, real true friends, and others. its a complete packet!

theres a paul’s gangsta statement in phillipians 3 that keep stirring in my heart..

“but whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, i consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. i consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ”

sick, huh? considering everything is a loss for a jewish rockin man-he is a son of god though, that died and rose again for me called Jesus. but yea, when i know him more and more, its all being a crap.. he’s just everything that i need!

happy holidays!




Thursday, October 23, 2008


this is some of the pictures that i took during the ministry time this last couple of weeks

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those kids are so precious..

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i dont know why, i just wanna wash this old man hands and feet..

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being as one family..

there was some of the pictures..aahh. i got a lot more gnarly pictures of it, but i cant put it all here. its gonna be so slow here, if i do that..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

time to chill life is been intense lately..working with the last wave of megacities, working on my college stuffs, dealing with my family-how they haven’t understand what im doing now, and what im gonna do for the rest of my life. i was got exhausted one day. I felt wanna freak out with all of this.. i dont know why, i dont wanna grumble, but i was in the point when it all just felt so exhausting.

but god is always be my perfect father..his loving and encouraging heart is my portion. he never leave me, he is crazy in love with me.haha. he is everything that i need..when all my world fades, his love stand still. his joy is my strength!

Psalms is been so encouraging.

“the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of the death, i will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me..” psalms23:1-4

and this next 3 days is gonna be prayer and fasting day for all the facilitator in the north, no ministry with megacities for the next 3 days..really sit and listen to what he really wants us to do, praying hardcore for the local churches to unite and move out from their freakin comfort zone, see that the people in this city need the love of jesus so much more than religion rules and fancy building..

well..Its gonna be time for me to rest too, having my private time with god, watching dvds, just chillaxing..yeahh.

oh im so wanna be in the evening acoustic live music just chillin with close friends and talk.hahaa

Sunday, September 28, 2008

a reckless abandon

yes! im back in this digital thingy again. hey you know what? today i just got a super cool innovation on how to poo in public toilet. simple, clean, dry, fast, practical..if you wanna learn i can teach you, you can just pay cheap price laa..
only Rp50.000 or $5 per session. i will keep your privacy.. no expensive laa, cmon laa you should tlai will be helpful for you laa..haha. *oh man, my chinesse blood is in high pressure.

oh yeah! im so happy today..its been freakin awesome. today my dad and my mom had their 22nd wedding anniversary, it was yesterday actually but we celebrate it today. our family went dinner at a new seafood resto-i forgot the name near the beach at ancol.such a beautiful place..

and then before we start eating dinner, i just felt like i have to pray for my not used to do that,kinda awkward for me! but yea, i just wanna pray, then i said "hey, lets pray together first.." so i just start pray for them, for their marriage, for their love, for them to complete each other in their marriage, to be a servant for each other, pray for encouragment and others that i already forgot now..and suddenly i saw my mom start crying, o my god..then i continue pray for my 2 younger brothers, for them to now whats God called them to be in their live.

whoaa,its crazy. and after i pray they didnt say anything, but i feel like God is crying with tears of proud and joy..he said "Hans, you made me proud of you" aaaaaaaa. its crazy. Jesus is absolutely gila
! and he's kinda emo..haha. even he can destroy this whole galaxy with just one snap of his fingertips, but still He's emo! i love you Jesus my eveything!

maybe its not sound special for some of you..but for my family its really special. my dad and mom never been prayed together on their today was the FIRST TIME! it was really beautiful..i know it still kinda awkward for them to do this sweet godly loving thing, but when the super deep love of the Father touch their heart more and more, they will be crazy about it! this is what ive been praying for..i wanna see my family experience and understand about the deep the wide and the indescribable LOVE OF GOD!

oh yeah..and you know what yesterday
evening God told me to go to andy's church,i didnt know why.but when i was in a worship time there's a song, "amazing love" he said that he told me to go there just for me to know that song..what the heck. but yes, that song is crazy.
it said like this..

im forgiven because you were forsaken,
im accepted because you were condemened
amazing love how could it be
you are a King but you died for me
amazing love i know its true

yeaaah! its all about love..

"and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. the greatest thing of it is LOVE"-1corinthians13:somewhere

im recklessly abandoned by his love..

ps: thanks joy for your prayer. you see it, huh? you are annointed! haha