love fools

love unfailing, overtaking my heart
you take me in,
fear is lost in you are

and i would give the world to tell your story
cause i know that you've called me
i know that you've called me

i lost my self for good within your promise
i won't hide it
i won't hide it

Jesus i believe in you
and i would go
to the ends of the earth
to the ends of the earth
for you alone, are the Son of God
and all the world will see
that you are God
you are God

mann..this song is been inspiring me maybe for this last 7 months. my favorite line is "I WOULD GIVE THE WORLD TO TELL YOUR STORY, CAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU'VE CALLED ME..I LOST MY SELF FOR GOOD WITHIN YOUR PROMISE, I WON'T HIDE IT, I WON'T HIDE IT.."

giving up my own world is not always easy, losing my own self is not always easy.. surrendering my future, my school, my family, my relationship, my will, my all..
its a violent! kingdom of God suffers violent and the violent take it by force. *oh i love that line, thanks god for misty edwards.
but i don't care! i wanna lay it all down before him. Can you imagine an uncreated super mighty crazy God longing to give a jerk like me a big destiny, a big calling to reach out the whole planet for Him? man, its gonna be so dumb if i still stubborn and just doing my life by my own way, by my own will..
i wanna lay every single small details of my life! i wanna die deep into the love of God. i wanna be equally yoke to him. i wanna love him like crazy. i wanna fix my eyes on him. i wanna be a foolish lover of him.

i know it will not be that easy, but Jesus said somewhere at matthew or luke "put my yoke on you, because my yoke is not heavy, and your burden is light".
i believe he will help me to lay it all down before him. he will bless me with a foolishness to believe every little crazy things he said to me, even when i'm in the dark night, with storm and raging sea.
He is unshakable, his words endures forever.

the weird feeling inside my stomach

oh yeah, this is my first blog!

Last night i got something crazy. Wed, 17th, a letter from ywam perth is at the

desk of my living room, my heartbeat beats faster when i saw that letter, i dont know why..and after that my father saw that letter and ask "whats that?", and im thinking "is it the time to tell my dad about it?". and i said to my dad its a school, and after that my daddy just go without reaction. and i just sit the living room reading the letter and asking god about what should i do, there's a verse that letter said "to obey is better than sacrifice", and after that i feel God told me to stay at the living room.

a few minutes my dad back to the living room, and i start to talk, i said "its a school, for 6 months.." i just wanna start to explain it but suddenly God told me to shut up and go to my room and fill that personal questioner that the ywam perth gave to me..

okay, i just wanna obey his words. and suddenly i read a words in the magazine that they gave me said "You're blessed because you believe what He said". i start crying when i read that words. God is really awesome!! even tough there's still no reaction from my dad, but i believe that God is speaking to him, putting something weird in his heart when he saw that letter. haha.

and the next morning i was chatting with my friend, we are sharing about whats been happening in our life lately. and you know what?? he said that he wants to support me in finance when i go in the mission field! o my god. its crazy.. God is really teaching me step by step to just obey him, fix my eyes on him, and lay down my life before him..

this last couple of days was so crazy. i dont know why there's a super weird feelings inside my stomach. i feel like Im gonna face a new phase of my life soon. its crazy, exciting, scaring, lovesick, all mixed up together..aaaaaa

and this last 2 days God is been revealing to me about an awkward thing called marriage! what the heck. He's revealing me about the bride and the bridegroom. can you imagine if there are 2 bride of Christ being as one! with one heart, one vision, one passion! each of them know that to love is to die for ourself.. its gonna be super awesome! but i just feel weird, why God reveal that kinda things to me these time? mann im still 21.

i have a random thought about having a missionary, dancer, and a brown skin future wive..hahaa. kinda weird, huh?

its all seem like too gila-gilaan to be true. but yea, its true. its a reality! this is what life is. to have an adventure with the heavenly bridegroom as we die more for ourself each day..